Things to do at Walmart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time

• Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
  


• Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
  


• Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
  


• Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
  


• Put M&M's on lay away.
  


• Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
  


• Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
  


• When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone."
  


• Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  


• Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
  


• While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  


• In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
  


• Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
  


• When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! Its those voices again."
  


• Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"